


LEMONADE.

by heiresstothequeen



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Babies, Based on Beyoncé, Based on Lemonade Album, Betrayal, Beyoncé References, Cheating, Extremely Heavy, F/M, Family Drama, Forgiveness, Foster child to be precise, Heavy Angst, Implied Cheating, Jon is a Snow, Multi, Second Chances, daenerys has trust issues, family life, still a bastard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-06-26 21:14:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19776541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heiresstothequeen/pseuds/heiresstothequeen
Summary: a tale of infidelity and forgiveness.“i tried to make a home with you but what luck. what a fucking curse.”





	1. intuition

**Author's Note:**

  * For [briasiaw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/briasiaw/gifts).



> welcome to lemonade. a story based on beyoncé’s album. this is a story of cheating and forgiveness so if this isn’t a story for you turn around immediately. thank you.

_i tried to make a home out of you._

_but doors lead to trap door. a stairway to nothing. unknown women wander the halls at night. where do you go when you’re quiet? you remind me of my father, a magician, able to exist in two places at once. in the tradition of men in my blood you come home at 3am and lie to me._

_where are you hiding?_

_the past and future merge to meet us here._

_what luck, what a fucking curse._

  
**_Intuition_ **

She felt it. She didn’t know why but she felt it. Today felt off, just as every other day before this. But she just couldn’t jump to conclusions, that would do more harm than good. So she would hold her tongue. Bite the inside of her cheeks till they bleed and wait. Wait for a sign, a signal, something.

Daenerys rubs the soap into her son’s, Jaeherys, skin. They baby slapped the water in excitement. A little over seven months, Jae was her pride and joy. Daenerys knew he would never let her down.

She couldn’t say the same for his father.

“Alright big man, out the tub.” She laughed as Jae squealed. Little chubby limbs flailing. He was such a happy baby. Daenerys likes to brag he looked more like her than Jon.

Jae had the Targaryen hair, silver and shiny. He had inherited the family amethyst eyes as well. Smooth, pale ivory skin and pouty lips. Just like Jon. Jaeherys was far too young, so he was oblivious to the growing tension in their home. 

Jon and Daenerys has been married all of three years. Marrying young, they started life far earlier than any of their peers. They were in love and no one had been able to change their minds.

They were _still_ in love but that didn’t stop suspicion from poking Daenerys in the back of her head. And the evidence she was finding wasn’t helping Jon’s case. His extremely weak case. 

Coming home in early mornings. To some it wasn’t a big deal and they would even brush it off but Jon was always due home no later than seven. Coming home at three in the morning, more than six hours later, was due to make anyone suspicious.

Pink lipstick and vanilla perfume that stuck to his work shirts made her stomach churn. Daenerys hates vanilla and pink wasn’t her color. 

She couldn’t trust him, that’s what hurt the most. She couldn’t trust the man she married. The man she’d given her life to. The man she’d brought life into this world for. But when she looked at Jon, it didn’t seem like that man was in there. 

Jaeherys burped from her shoulder and Daenerys eased the babe into his crib before flopping down onto her own bed. The clock on the nightstand read nine-thirty two and Daenerys suppressed a hiss. Kicking off her jeans and quickly tying her hair up, Daenerys layed down.

She wouldn’t stay up and wait for him if he was doing what she thought he was.

**••••**

The bed dips with weight and Daenerys eyes immediately go to the clock. Four-fifty was in big red numbers.

“Dany?”

“Yes?”

“Did I wake you?”

The smell of vanilla perfume slithered up her nostrils “Sort of. How was work?”

“Nothing, much of the same stuff.” his voice is next to her ear now and Daenerys clenches her pillow. He was lying, straight to her face. Like she was some stranger on the street, rather than his wife and best friend. His soulmate.

Jon pulls her closer, nuzzling into her back and pressing himself into her. Daenerys pulls away from him before he could get too comfortable. “What are you doing”

_You’re lying to me and I hate you for it._ “You’re eleven hours late from work Jon, go to sleep.” Daenerys yanks the covers up around her “You need to be up in two hours anyway.” he groans but flips onto his back “Goodnight.”

She doesn’t answer, instead, burying her head in her pillow and crying. She didn’t want to believe this. She wanted to believe her intuition was just a stomach ache or nausea but she _couldn’t_. The signs were there, lain in front of her waiting for her next move. The feelings of betrayal fluttered in her belly like angry dragons. Roaring and setting her body on fire. 

Why would he do this to her? Her, the woman who’d stuck around when nobody else would. The woman who hadn’t turned her back on him, in his worse times. They’d promised sickness and health hadn’t they? Good and bad, right and wrong, she’d stuck _with him_. If when he was wrong she’d stuck with him. 

So why her? 

Jon falls asleep quickly, oblivious to his wife’s turmoil and heartbreak. Daenerys edges off the bed before running to the bathroom. Turning on the sink faucet Daenerys hopes it would drown out the sounds of her wails. 

_what are you doing my love?_

  
  
  



	2. denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ i tried to change “

_I tried to change, closed my mouth more, tried to be softer, prettier, less awake. Fasted for sixty days, wore white, abstained from mirrors._

_abstained from sex, slowly did not speak another word._

_in that time my hair grew past my ankles. i slept on a mat on the floor. i swallowed a sword. i levitated into the basement._

_confessed my sins and was baptized in a river. got on my knees and said amen and said i mean. i whipped my own back and asked for dominion at your feet. i threw myself into a volcano, i drank the blood and drank the wine, i sat alone and begged and bent at the waist for god._

_i cross myself in thought, i saw the devil. i grew thickened skin on my feet. i bathed in bleach and plugged my mintys with pages from the holy book._

_but still inside me cooled deep was the need to know_

_are you cheating on me?_

**_Denial_ **

Daenerys is pushing through the house door before Missandei even has is completely opened. 

“I need help.”

She had just relieved herself of her own work duties and it was barely two. “I need you to babysit Jae for me.

Missandei eyes her friend oddly “Why? Is something wrong?” she had no problem watching over her Godson but Daenerys always called ahead of time. 

“I think,” The words get stuck in her throat but Daenerys sighs and pushes through “I think Jon is cheating on me.” Missandei almost drops the wine she’s holding “Are you sure?”

“I don’t know,” Daenerys exclaims “but i’m going to find out that’s for sure.”

“You have evidence to support this Daenerys? I don’t want you to blow this out of proportion and look stupid.”

“Lipstick and perfume are on his shirts Missandei! Dammit I even found red-hair on his vest!” Daenerys gestures to her own silver waves “Do I look like a fucking red-head Missandei?!”

“Gods, he wouldn’t dare, would he?” Missandei was just as shocked as her friend. She’d known Jon since high school and he had been completely devoted to Daenerys, even all the times they took breaks he hadn’t been with another girl.

“I would hope not!” Daenerys snaps “I’ll put him in the ground myself!”

“So you just want Jae to stay with me? You sure you don’t want me to come along?”

Daenerys nods “My baby doesn’t need to be in the car when I lose my shit.”

Missandei nods in understanding “Hopefully it won’t get to that point and this is all one _big_ ass understanding.”

“ _He_ would hope so.”

**••••**

This wasn’t happening.

This _wasn’t_ happening. But it was. It was right in front of her. It was a wave of icy cold water washing over her head. It was the knowledge of being _right._

Daenerys was standing across the street from Jon’s office. Her hands gripping the car keys turning an ugly ghastly white. Her eyes glued to what was happening across from her. 

Jon Snow, her husband, was hugging another woman. It wouldn’t have been a big deal if his tongue wasn’t down her throat. 

Bile rose in her throat. This wasn’t her fault was it? No, she hadn’t changed. She was still Daenerys, still his best friend. Jon had changed, this was his doing. 

Her knuckles flexed as Jon pulled the woman close. A sickly, ugly, red-head with skin to pale and shoulders to broad. She was definitely _not_ even pretty. 

Jon laughed at something she said and Daenerys saw red and black and fire. Having enough, Daenerys streaked across the street. The woman looked up just in time to see her walking towards them, she paled. 

_‘Good_ .’ Daenerys thoughts ‘ _Ugly bitch.’_

“Dany,” Jon said, obviously surprised to see her, moving around the woman to hug her. “What are you doing here?”

Daenerys slapped his hands away “Whose this?” she pointed to the other woman, the scared church mouse basically shaking in her heels. Daenerys almost laughed, the woman was bold enough to sleep with a married man but not confront his wife? She should smack her, smack that scared look right off her ugly ass face. 

“This is-

“Your side piece. Yeah I get it. I know-

“Dany-

“Don’t Dany me Jon. Do you think I’m dumb?” she snapped “You weren’t even covering your tracks. You might as well had flashed the bitch in my face.”

“Pink lipstick? Red-hair? That cheap ass vanilla perfume? I wash the clothes you dumbass.”

“Daenerys-

“You have got to be the dumbest, idiotic, person to cheat on me,” she pointed to the woman behind him “with her?! If you’re going to cheat at _least_ have the audacity and balls for her to be prettier than me! You couldn’t even do that!”

“I’m not cheating-

“Jon I swear, keep lying to me and I swear on Jaeherys it’s going to be the last thing you ever do!”

“Babe, I- this shouldn't have happened ,” Daenerys rolled her eyes at his pleading “she just-

“-Just what? Caught you at your worst? Well I’m sorry, I cook, I clean, and I take care of Jae and the only thing you have to do is come home and rest your head.” She _hated this._ How could he? How fucking could he? Years of commitment and love down the drain, and for what? So he could have a quick fix? “I really- How dare you? How dare you waste my time and my son’s time like this?”

“Daenerys-

“You think she’d want you if you weren’t where you are now? You think anybody would want you? Do you think _anyone_ would care about the poor foster boy?”

“Because I would,” Daenerys pointed at herself “I’ve been with you for how long Jon? Everything you’ve been through I was there and you’ve got the nerve, the audacity, to take my commitment and just throw it away, like it’s nothing.”

“I’m sorry, Dany I am.”

“Fuck you and your sorry Jon, honestly.”

“I’m sorry but I have to go.”

“Go ahead. Nobody is stopping you ,” Daenerys snaps at the woman “And your extremely lucky we’re in public I would’ve beat your ass.” She turns her eyes back to Jon’s “I’ll see you when you get home.”

_hold up, they don’t love you like i love you_

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ruby chokers. that is all


	3. anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ if this what you truly want, i can wear her skin over mine “

_ if this what you truly want, i can wear her skin over mine. her hair over mine,her hands as gloves, her teeth as confetti. _

_ her scalp, a cap. her sternum, my bedazzled cane. _

_ we can pose for a photograph. all three of us, immortalized. you and your perfect girl _

_ i don't know when love became elusive. what i know is no one i know has it _

_ my father's arms around my mother's neck. fruit too ripe to eat. _

_ i think of lovers as trees, growing to and from one another _

_ searching for the same light _

_ why can't you see me? why can't you see me?  _

**_Anger_ **

The car ride home is one of quiet thought, then resolve, then more thought. Daenerys didn’t understand. Had she done this? Had she pushed him into the arms of another woman. Did the woman have something she didn’t? If so what was it?

Her hair? She could dye her hair. Her eyes? She could wear contacts. Her skin? She could sit in the dark till her skin turned as pale as her eyelashes. Her body? She could work out. She could exercise till her feet were raw and her hands bleed. Till the Gods themselves came to her and begged her to stop. 

The house is far cooler than she remembers it being when she walks in, and dirty. Why was it dirty? Hadn’t she cleaned it up this morning? Everything just seemed out of place, out of whack. Breathing in through her nose and shot a quick text message to Missandei.

- _Keep Jae for a few more hours for me please, the house is atrocious-_

She receives a message back with quick succession.

_ bestie.: No problem baby, call me when you need something _

That’s all she needs to hear and for now Daenerys let’s her anger out the only nonviolent way she can, she cleans. She cleans until the chemicals burn her finger tips. Still it seems dirty.

Her home  _ feels dirty _ . It dawns on Daenerys it’s not dirt tainting her home but the essence of the other woman. Her cheap perfume and ratty hair.

The front door opens, “Dany?”

“Don’t call me that,” She snaps, all anger directed at him “you don’t get to call me that.”

“I didn’t mean to-

“How do you not mean to  _ cheat  _ on someone Jon? How?!” she snatches the vase off of the coffee table, aiming for his head. Jon sidesteps and the vase smashes against the wall.

“Can you calm down and allow me to speak-

“Calm down? Do you think you have any right to tell me to calm down?” Daenerys exclaims “Do you think you have any right to be asking for  _ anything _ ?!” The nerve of him, “You’re telling me to calm down, but I’m sorry are  _ you  _ being cheated on. I’m here cooking and cleaning, taking care of our son and you're out there making me look  _ stupid,  _ Jon!”

She threw a cup coaster.

“You promised me! You promised me for better or worse. For sickness and health!” the other four cup coasters followed in succession, “I’m too good for you! Far to good! You think any other woman out there would put up with the shit that you do!” Daenerys screamed in frustration before stalking to the kitchen, Jon trailing behind her.

“Can you please let me explain?! Please!?”

“No!” Daenerys screeches “No you fucking can’t! Do you think I want to hear your excuses? You think I want to hear why you chose that bitch over your family?”

“No! Dany no, I didn’t choose anyone over my family,” he rakes a hand threw his hair “I was weak. This shouldn’t have happened.”

Daenerys shakes her head at her husband “You’re stupid. You’ve got to be the stupidest person I’ve ever met.” she snorts “Do you understand how good I look? How  _ fine  _ I am?”

“Of course-

“Liar. If you did we wouldn’t be in this situation. You wouldn’t have cheated, not with that pale, sickly ass bitch! I can get anyone I want. I could’ve been with anyone I wanted. But I didn’t I chose you. And you chose me so what happened!?”

“I still do.”

“No, Jon you don't.” she hisses, walking away from him “I’m nothing. If I was something we wouldn’t be doing this right now!”

She was up the stairs now, moving as fast as her legs allowed her to without full on running. Running away from this, from him.

“I hate you.  _ I hate you _ .”

“You don’t mean that. I just fucked up Daenerys, please.”

“Stop, just stop.” Daenerys turns to face Jon “Would you like me better if I looked like her?”

“What? No Daenerys-

“If I had blue eyes instead of purple? If my hair was red instead of silver? Would that be better?” He didn’t answer, seemingly at a lost for words. Daenerys remembered when he would play with her hair. No matter where they were, his hands were in her waves. “Maybe I need to be skinner? Drop a couple of pounds from carrying  _ your  _ son. Then maybe you’ll be faithful.”

“Daenerys-

“Shut up,” how many times would she say it before he got it through his head? Before she got everything off her chest? “you really fucked up. But you knew that already. You’re going to feel the same way I feel when I leave-

“What? No you can’t!”

“Why? I’m obviously not needed here!” Daenerys walked into their room and pulled a duffel bag from their closet. Snatching clothes off of hangers and from drawers. Jon yanks the bag from her, tossing it somewhere over his shoulder. 

“You can’t leave me. I need you-

“Liar! You’re such a fucking liar!”

“I’m not! I know I fucked up but Daenerys you can’t leave me.” The woman scoffed. Who was going to stop her? Her husband? Laughable. “Or what?”

Daenerys twisted the wedding ring off of her finger. “What does this even mean to you? It meant the world to me? But now,” she dropped the ring at their feet “it’s as meaningless as I was to you.”

Twisting on her feet Daenerys walked from the room “Where are you going? Daenerys! Where are you going?!”

“Away.”

_everyone else can_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again hate jon. or don’t.


	4. apathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ ashes to ashes, dust to side chicks. “

> _so what are you going to say at my funeral now that you’ve killed me? here lies the body of the love of my life whose heart i broke without a gun to my head._

_here lies the mother of my children both living and dead. rest in peace my true love who i took for granted most bomb pussy. who because of me sleep evaded, her shroud is loneliness, her god is listening. her heaven would be a love without betrayal._

_ashes to ashes, dust to side chicks._

**_Apathy_ **

“Have you talked to Jon?”

“No.”

And that was true to a certain degree. She and Jon hadn’t spoken. Not the way they needed to at least. They’d offer each other greetings when he came over to Missandei’s home to see their son but that was it. Not for the lack of his trying, he’d tried to speak with her several times over but Daenerys just wasn’t interested. Nothing that came from his mouth would stop the disappointment she felt when she looked at him.

After their fight weeks ago, all Daenerys had done was cry. The boiling anger turned into devastating heartbreak as realization took root in her head. He’d cheated on her. He didn’t love her like he said he did. Her only comfort was Jae, his bubbly laughs and toothless smiles bringing the only light in the darkness she could see for weeks. 

Eventually the darkness faded and Daenerys was left with apathy. The feeling of simply not caring for him. For Jon or his traitorous ways. It didn’t matter and when it boiled down to it, she’d cried too much, shed too many tears over a man who obviously didn’t deserve them. It was over, it was done with, it was dead. There was no need to bring it up anymore. 

“You do know you’re going to have to talk to him eventually, right?”

“Of course,” Daenerys nodded, she wasn’t dumb, she’d talk to him eventually “just not right now.”

“Then when?” Missandei throws her hands up, exhausted with the whole situation. She understood why Daenerys didn’t want to talk to Jon, she’d not only be stupid but just a downright bad friend if she didn’t. But this was getting out of hand “It’s been three weeks Daenerys. Jon is out there walking around like a lost puppy and you and your _I-Don’t-Give-A-Fuck_ attitude isn’t helping.”

Missandei remembered the night Daenerys had shown up on her porch. She’d been red-eyed and puffy cheeked. Missandei hadn’t asked questions, already knowing the answers. It reminded of all the times Daenerys had to sleep over at her house because her parents fighting was getting out of hand.

“What do you want me to do? Huh? Just accept him back into my life?”

“No Daenerys,” Missandei scoffs “I’d think you were stupid if you did. I want you to talk to him. If not for you or him for Jae.”

Daenerys groans but reaches into her pocket nonetheless Her finger is hovering over his name in the contact list when she snaps at Missandei “I’m not forgiving him.”

Her friend nods “I’m not asking you to. Forgiveness is just like trust, he has to earn it back.”

***~***

Daenerys had been gone for weeks and Jon had drowned himself in a bottle. Vodka, Hennessy, Gin, whatever took the edge off. Ygritte had called several times in the first week but he’d blocked her number. Arya had come over as well but that was only to help clean up the mess the house was becoming. 

She’d asked if he wanted her to go and bring Daenerys home but Jon had waved her off. The two women where more likely to get into a fight before Daenerys let Arya drag her anywhere. It was hard because he _knew_ he could see her.

If he took the short ride to Missandei’s house she was there. It was only because of the note she left in the hallway that he knew where she was. Jon knew it was only on a whim. Only because of Jae. Had they not had the baby Jon was sure he’d not have the slightest clue on where she was. 

His phone chimes and Jon takes his time getting to it. He didn’t want to talk, not to Arya or Robb. He wanted to be left alone to wallow in his self pity and despair. Daenerys icon pops up where he thought one of his siblings would.

_BABE. : i’d appreciate it if you could pick up Jae tomorrow from my job_

_BABE. : and id like to talk with you when i have the time if thats fine_

Jon shudders, she wanted to talk. After weeks of ignoring his existence she finally wanted to talk. Jon sags in relief before quickly texting back.

***~***

Daenerys looks down as Jon texts her back.

_my love : thank you baby._

_sorry i ain’t sorry, no no hell nah_

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cuz i was forced


	5. emptiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ dear moon, we blame you for floods ... for the flush of blood ... for men who are also wolves. we blame for the night for the dark, for the ghosts. “

> _she sleeps all day. dreams of you in both worlds. tills the blood, in and out of uterus. wakes up smelling of zinc, grief sedated by orgasm. orgasm heightened by grief._

_god was in the room when the man said to the woman, "i love you so much. wrap your legs around me. pull me in, pull me in, pull me in.”_

_sometimes when he'd have her nipple in his mouth, she'd whisper, "oh, my god." That, too, is a form of worship._

_her hips grind, pestle and mortar, cinnamon and cloves. whenever he pulls out ... loss._

_dear moon, we blame you for floods ... for the flush of blood ... for men who are also wolves. we blame for the night for the dark, for the ghosts._

**_Emptiness_ **

Daenerys worked as a nurse.

She was stable in all aspects, that’s why she and Jon had fit so well together. They stabled each other. They were stable together. When they did something they did it together. No matter loss, or happiness, they were in it _together_. 

The only thing different now was she worked harder. Not being in the house with Jon meant she had to pull her own weight just a bit harder. 

Jaeherys tagged along everyday. With no babysitter and Missandei working just as much as she did, she had no choice. Luckily the women who worked in the hospital nurseries had no problem watching over the boy. 

For the past couple of days Daenerys had mentally prepared herself for when she saw Jon again. But there was nothing to prepare. There was an emptiness she felt when she thought of her husband. Not that she didn’t love him, she did, dearly. She was just confused.

She was confused a lot these days. Her mind constantly wondered to Jon. What he was doing? How were his days? Was he truly going to leave her alone? For what? Because she asked?

“Oh Daenerys your boy is just an angel. Doesn’t cry or fuss too much,” Daenerys smiles at the old woman, Olenna, her mentor and current watcher over her son “I’m jealous.”

“Thank you Olenna but he’ll be out of your hands soon.”

The woman mocks gasp, holding Jae tighter to her chest “And where is my baby going?”

“His father is on his way to get him.” It hurt not to “My husband” but Daenerys couldn’t truly call him that. Not at that moment. 

Olenna pouts but passes Jae to his mother, not before pinching his cheeks watching as a toothless smile appears on his face. “You bring him back anytime.”

“Thank you Olenna.”

Jae’s things are in the nurse staff room, all stuffed in her locker. Daenerys takes her time cleaning up Jae, changing his diaper and his onesie. 

“Dany?,” She turns to the door, another nurse, Irri, standing in the doorway “Yes?”

“Jon is in the waiting room for you.” 

“Thank you for telling me.” Irri nods before disappearing from the staff room. “You heard that baby?” She turns to Jae, tickling his feet from his carrier “Daddy’s here.”

Making sure she had all of Jae’s things, she had a problem with leaving his stuff, she makes her way to the waiting room. Passing Missandei who throws her a sympathetic look.

Jon is sitting in the uncomfortable blue hospital chairs, picking at his leather jacket. Daenerys heart stutters when she realizes its the one she’d brought him. Old and worn from years of age. 

“Jon?” He looks up smiling despite looking like he’s aged ten years. 

Jon takes Jae from his carrier, bouncing him on his hip “Hey big man.” Jae pats his father’s face, laughing wildly. 

“I know you probably forgot his car seat, so just take mine.” Because she knew Jon. She knew he forgot to put the extra carrier in the car, like he always did. Jon nodded and the two walk to the parking lot together, Jon holding Jae in one arm, his carrier in the other, Daenerys carrying his bag. 

Daenerys waits patiently as Jon sets Jae’s car seat up. “Alright then, done.” She eyes Jon, he seriously needed to start wearing underwear when he wore his sweatpants. 

Daenerys kisses her son’s forehead “Be good for daddy ok.” Jae only bumps his mouth against her nose, slob covering her face. Jae is taken from her and Daenerys waits for Jon so they could talk while she still had time.

There’s a surprisingly comfortable silence as the two lean against Jon’s car before she speaks quietly “Eventually you’ll have to explain yourself. You’ll have to explain why you did what you did not only to me but to your son.”

“I understand,” His voice is guttural and Daenerys wonders if it’s because he’s as close to tears as she is “just tell me when you're willing to listen. But Daenerys I want you to come home. I can’t do this without you.”

She nods, looking up towards the sky, hoping the tears that are blurring her eyes would go away but they don’t and they slide down her cheeks, a sob wrenching itself from her throat.

“Don’t cry, please don’t cry,” Jon whispers pulling her into her chest “I’ve made you cry too much already. Don’t cry anymore over me _please._ ”

Pulling from him, Daenerys wipes her face “I’ll talk to you tomorrow I promise.”

Jon watches as Daenerys walks back towards the hospital, arms wrapped around herself. She throws a single look over her shoulder watching Jon’s car pulls off. 

Missandei is waiting for her at the automatic sliding doors “You ok baby?” Daenerys shakes her head “I miss him Dei.”

Her friend wraps her hands around her “I know honey. I know.”

  
  
_oh boy i’ll make you feel, you always come back to me_

_come back_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated a couple hours early cuz i want to get a chapter of the renaissance of valyria out tomorrow. next chapter is in jon’s pov and we finally get a little more in depth explanation.


	6. accountability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ you must wear it like she wears disappointment on her face “

_ you find the black tube inside her beauty case where she keeps your father's old prison letters. you desperately want to look like her. You look nothing like your mother. you look everything like your mother.  _

_ Film star beauty. _

_ how to wear your mother's lipstick. you go to the bathroom to apply your mother's lipstick. Somewhere no one can find you. _

_ you must wear it like she wears disappointment on her face. your mother is a woman and women like her cannot be contained. _

_ mother dearest, let me inherit the earth. Teach me how to make him beg. let me make up for the years he made you wait.  _

_ did he bend your reflection? did he make you forget your own name? did he convince you he was a god? did you get on your knees daily? do his eyes close like doors? are you a slave to the back of his head? _

_ am i talking about your husband or your father? _

**_Accountability_ **  
  


“Have you spoken with her lately?”

Jon nodded and his mother placed her head in her palm, thoughtful. Jon had needed a second opinion and his mother was the only one he trusted with it. 

Marya was his confidant in many ways. She’d adopted him after he’d been put into foster home. Fair skinned and brown haired, most people had to ask to be sure Jon wasn’t her son. “Well Jon, why’d you cheat in the first place? Dany’s a good girl what happened?”

“It wasn’t her. It’s never been her, it was me. I just got caught up, work and-

Marya holds up her hand, the look on her face silencing him “I don’t want excuses Jon I want an explanation. Daenerys  _ deserves  _ an explanation.”

“I know and I’m not saying she doesn’t but what is a good explanation for cheating? For breaking her trust me?”

Marya felt for her son, she truly did, but she wouldn’t excuse his actions. No one deserved to have their heartbroken, their outlook on love destroyed. But she could also see how much her son was hurting. Having come over for his weekly visit, Jon looked worse for wear. His talk with Daenerys the night before having worn him down. 

Jon wanted her to come home. Daenerys was too afraid to do so.

“This situation sounds familiar doesn’t it Davos?”

The question draws Jon’s attention to his adoptive father, Davos. The man sitting in a reclining chair in the corner of the room, his grandson asleep in his arms. “Mar please, this was before we even adopted Jon.”

“You cheated on mom?”

“He most certainly did,” Marya scoffed “With some hussy with red contacts.”

“Dad,” Jon was shocked to say the least “really?”

Davos rolled his eyes. Their relationship was pretty good despite their clashing personalities. Davos being a family oriented and loving man while Jon was more a loner and secluded. Jon loves his family and would forever be grateful for them taking him in, but during his teenage years he and Davos clashed more than opposing hockey teams. 

“Yes really, but that was long before you came along.”

“You sound really,” Jon thinks for a second “chill about it.”

“It’s been a long time Jon,” Davos had groveled for a long time after that incident and still to this day Marya hung it over his head, twenty years later, “I can’t change what happened. Do I feel horrible about it? Absolutely, I do everyday of my life but we’re past it now.”

“Well,” Marya started up again “I gave him hell. Burned his clothes. Ran his car battery out. Even had your uncles beat him up,” Jon snickers around his fist “Daenerys was lenient. Feel lucky.”

“It was hell.” His father speaks up “Groveled at her feet for weeks. She obviously took me back, but she still gives me hell for it.”

“So what do I do?”

“Don’t bring this up again.”

Marya rolls her eyes “What he meant was, if she does take you back it won’t be the same, not for a long time. But slowly she’ll let you in again but you have to show she can trust you not just telling her she can. She may worry but show her she has no reason to.”

Jon nods and talks to his parents for a while longer before checking the time. It was almost time for him to bring Jae home and back to his mother. 

Marya kisses his forehead “She’ll come around, I know it. Plus she loves you, you fucked up but she loves you, just wait.”

***~***

“You sure you’re ready to go home?”

Daenerys shrugs at her friend’s question, eyes on where her wedding ring used to be. She’d left it with Jon but had he picked it up? Where was it? 

“Then why are you going?”

“We need to talk and I promised him we would be able to.”

Missandei scoffed, dropping the knife she was holding onto the counter “You do understand you don’t owe him anything but a foot up his ass, right?”

“Yes I do, I owe this to me and my son,” Daenerys explained, understanding her friend’s concern “I deserve an explanation and he needs to own up to what he did. He can’t do that if I'm not there.” she buried her head in her hands “I won’t lie and say I’m not scared though.”

“Dany baby,” Missandei speaks softly, watching her friend begin to crumble “I can’t imagine what you’re going through and I know this is hard-

“And everyone is making it worse!” Gods she was losing her mind “I mean look at you and Grey. That’s everlasting love and here I am thinking I’ve got the same thing but I’m crying about someone who was supposed to be genuine. Gods, men ain’t shit.”

“I just don’t want you to push yourself ok? It’s only going to get harder if you two make it harder.”

_ my daddy said shoot _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we’re getting closer to the end my loves 5 chapters left.


	7. reformation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ why do you deny yourself heaven? why do you consider yourself undeserving? why are you afraid of love? you think it’s not possible for someone like you “

_he bathes me till i forget their names and faces. i ask him to look me in the eye when i come, home._

_why do you deny yourself heaven? why do you consider yourself undeserving? why are you afraid of love? you think it’s not possible for someone like you._

_but you are the love of my life, the love of my life, the love of my life._

**_Reformation_ **

“I want to understand you,” Daenerys watches as Jae wiggles about on his stomach, trying and failing to crawl “but you change so much, so often, and just when I feel I know you, you change again.”

Jon is quiet next to her and Daenerys hates how bad he looks. How much the situation has worn them both down. Bags so dark under his eyes they look like bruises, his hair limp and tangled. He sits back, head fallen back against the couch, legs spread. He looks comfortable but Daenerys knows he’s far from it. 

“Are you ok?” Because as much as she’s still mad and still hurt, she hates the way he looks. Jon hasn’t looked this bad since highschool, since he fell into the deep void of depression that came with knowing what happened with his birth parents, since she had to _force_ him into rehab because that void pulled him under and filled him with drugs and anger.

“I don’t know,” he trails off “maybe I guess. What are you trying to figure out?”

“I want to understand _why_ you did what you did but I don't want to get mad again. Jon I just- Im _tired_.” and hurt and sad and broken. 

Jon looks away from her, “She just…made herself available. I think it started the day Jae’s breathing problems came up, you were freaking out and crying because you didn’t want it to take him like it did your mom and I couldn’t be there because I had to work and I was scared to come home. Scared to think you would hold it against me so I stayed at the office and she just kept popping up, making herself available.”

“I never wanted it to go that far, it was never supposed to happen in the first place. We never had sex, she blew me off but that’s it and her pretending to not know you was a lie. She knew I was married.”

Daenerys isn’t surprised, she’d seen the inside of Jon’s personal office, there were too many pictures of her and Jaeherys on his desk to miss.

“I know. She looked familiar then I realized she’s the third floor secretary.”

“But it was never you,” Jon scratches his wrist, “Never.”

“It was-

“No Daenerys it wasn’t-

“Jon please, you weren’t getting attention from me so you turned to some run down, used up bitch,” She wished they wouldn’t fight, that they could just talk like human beings “maybe you needed comfort, maybe she even tricked you but Jon you didn’t come to _me_ your _wife_. That fucking hurts.”

“You we’re struggling Daenerys,” Jon sits up, shoulders tense “When you almost feel down the stairs and you wouldn’t walk up them because you were scared that we would lose Jae like we did with Jonna and Jr. Who wasn’t there? Me-

“Don’t do that Jon,” he couldn’t compare that, she wouldn’t allow it. They’d lost Jonna and Jr. because she’d fell on concrete after someone pushed her. This wasn’t and was _far_ from the same thing “You cheating on me deliberately and us losing our babies are two different things.”

“I know that Dany but I’m trying to point out _my_ mistakes never had anything to do with you. They are just what they are saying they are. _My_ mistakes, _mine_ . There’s nothing wrong with you there _never_ been anything wrong with you. I love you and just you.”

“How can I be sure,” she’d turned her eyes back to her son, Jae having been able to balance himself on his hands and knees “how do I know you love me with what you’ve done to us?”

“Look at me,” Jon laughs, but its hollow, far from the rich sound that bubbled in chest when he truly was happy “Gods Daenerys I can barely function without you plus I look shit.” The laugh that blooms in her chest turns into a sob because he’s _right_ . The stability they had is gone, the system of love and support they had is _gone_. 

“And I know I have nobody to blame but myself for that but Daenerys I _need_ you. I can’t do this on my own.”

Jon drops his head to her lap and Daenerys stiffens before relaxing, feeling Jon relax as she begins to braid his hair.

“We’re going through something. Our _love_ is going through something and I want you to fix this. Gods, Jon we could move mountains. There wasn’t enough love in this world because we hoarded it.” Daenerys huffed out a breathe, her nose red and itchy from crying “ And I know I’m in my feelings a lot but ten times out of nine I’m only human and I wondered what _I_ did wrong. I was committed, focused, and I struggled with trying to understand what I had done wrong.” Daenerys stopped herself from apologizing, she’d already said that hadn’t she?

“You and me could start a love drought if we wanted to.”

“I don’t want anymore lies Jon,” she spoke directly to him now “I’m tired. If you want to fix this _show me_ you want this for us, for our family.”

“I never want to lie to you again,” Jon pats her thigh, “I refuse to lie to you ever again. I saw what it did, how it broke us. The guilt got to me and I thought I wouldn’t see my babies again.” Her thighs go wet and Daenerys knows he’s crying again “My babies were gone and I realized the way I strive wasn’t because of money, it was because of you and Jae. Coming home and knowing neither you and him would ever want for anything. Coming home and seeing you two weren’t here hurt the most. I need you and Jae to come home, _please_.”

“We need you to,” she whispered “but I need to be sure. I don't think I’ve been hurt this bad ever, and you did it. My best friend. The boy I defended in highschool because he was to quiet and everybody picked on him because of it. That boy became a man and I married him. Let him put a baby in me two times over because he wanted the family he never truly had.” Daenerys bites her lip, “I still love that man and I know he’s still in there someone but I just don’t know where and that’s scary. You changed so much and it just makes me question myself. Will I change to?”

Jon is quiet on her lap before quietly saying “I’m really fucking dumb for ever hurting you.” 

Daenerys waits for him to elaborate “I’m asking for you to come home and you’re contemplating it. Anybody else would’ve left me high and dry. But here you are thinking about giving me a second chance like I deserve it.”

“Yeah well,” Daenerys shrugs “I was never that sharp.” 

Jon shakes his head, before sitting up to look at her “You’re sharp, way too sharp sometimes.”

Daenerys forces the smile down, turning to look at her son “I suppose.” 

_i always been committed, i been focused, i always paid attention been devoted. tell what did i do wrong?_

_oh already asked that. my bad_  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ygrittes day of reckoning is coming. she’s getting stomped period.


	8. forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ do you remember being born? are you thankful for the hips that cracked? the deep velvet of your mother and her mother and her mother? “

_ baptize me, now that reconciliation is possible. if we’re going to heal, let it be glorious. _

_ 1000 girls raise their arms.  _

_ do you remember being born? are you thankful for the hips that cracked? the deep velvet of your mother and her mother and her mother?  _

_ there is a curse that will be broken. _

**_Forgiveness_ **

Jon had retreated to the bedroom with Jae so they both could sleep, Jae exhausted from playing Jon mentally exhausted, leaving Daenerys to sit alone on the couch. Her leaving had broken his heart. Pushed him into the void she never wanted to see him in again.

But he’d broken her heart to. There was no winning in this situation.

The two had sat on the couch a while longer, Jon mumbling his apologizes for another half hour before she finally had enough. Which was fine seeming as Jon didn’t have much else to say. 

Daenerys didn’t believe in second chances too much, it was only an excuse for the same mistakes to happen again, the same problems to turn back up. But the months away from home, away from the system they’d built together made her stomach hurt. She still loved him and even if she tried to move on a place in her heart,a big place, would always belong to him. He was her first  _ everything _ . Her first kiss, her first time, her first love and as much as she hated how they didn’t, feelings just didn’t go away.

Of course she’d wanted to leave him, Daenerys was fine with contacting a lawyer and serving him papers herself at first, and in an alternate universe she was sure she had, but this wasn’t that universe. And Daenerys had already admitted to not being the smartest person. 

They’d built sandcastles in this lifetime, giant pillars of sandstone and support. Twirling castle towers of love and affection. And as much as she’d promised herself she couldn’t stay, that's not how promises worked. Their castle had been washed away, but she wanted to build again. Something more grand, more spectacular that could survive the harsh waves of life that threatened to pull them apart.

There was just something about Jon, that she couldn’t erase. Not from her mind, not from her soul. 

Their talk could’ve gone worse, much worse. She could’ve gotten angry again, could’ve snapped on Jon like she’d wanted to the day that her suspicions had been confirmed. Jon was the only one who could pull that monster out of her, bring the demon to the surface that made her actually want to  _ lay hands on him.  _

Daenerys drops her head onto the back of the couch. Her eyes following the fan above her head. She could have destroyed their home. Ripped apart every memory, every picture, every little thing that made their home. 

But Jon had done that already. The smell of vanilla had lingered in their house, pink lipstick and red hair had destroyed the fairytale like image she’d had of it. 

Now it smelled too clean. Jon’s cologne didn’t linger in the couch pillows, the smell of dinner didn’t drift in the air. Daenerys supposed they could start there, start small, start fresh and make this house a home again.

***~***

Her sanctuary, the kitchen, isn’t how she’d left it. The smashed dishes had been cleaned up, broken glass from the pictures she’d snatched from the walls. Gods, he’d even rearranged the seasoning they had after she’d dumped them out all over the floor. 

Sighing, feeling only slightly bad for the mess she’d made, she rummages through the cabinets deciding on lasagna. It’s far from what the extravagant dinners she used to cook but it’s something.

The smell of food rouses Jon, and he drifts into the kitchen. The sight of Daenerys lounging around the kitchen warms his chest in all the right ways. He couldn’t count how many times he’d walked into the kitchen to see Daenerys at the stove or seated on the counter or on the table. 

“Thank you, for cleaning up the mess I made.” She speaks quietly, having heard him enter the room. 

“Of course,”He drops into a chair at the table, “I didn’t want you to come home to a dirty house.”

_ Oh. _

Daenerys turns around to eye her husband, fingers drumming lightly on the edge of the stove. He obviously wants to say something, the way his lips have set themselves into a hard line. 

“Jon.”

“Yes?”

Daenerys sighs before moving to sit on the table, dropping her feet into his lap. “I love you and you know that and I hate this, this space between us because Jon this isn’t  _ us. _

Jon understands, nodding “We’ve never been this way, and I hate the fact that it's my fault that we are.”

“I know and Jon I forgive you. I forgive you and your fucks ups and I’m going to come home but Jon, don’t make me regret this. Don’t turn me into my mother.”

“Gods Dany I won’t I promise I won’t,” he slides her into his lap, fingers curling around her wait and head “I won’t ever hurt you again, I promise.”

Daenerys shutters in his arms, she’ll believe him. She’ll put what little faith she has left in him. Let him bring her back to life. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

If they're going to heal, let it be  _ glorious _ .

_ show me your scars and i won’t walk away and i know i promised that i couldn’t stay baby, every promise don’t work out that _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m going to say this once; if you pursue a married person and know they're married you deserve an ass and you have no morals. simple, periodt, ass beating, you deserve 💋


	9. resurrection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ have i told you i love you today? because i do. “

_ something is missing. so many young women, they tell you, "I want me a hu — see, all of them make me feel better than you."  _

_ so how are we supposed to lead our children to the future? what do we do? how do we lead them? love. l-o-v-e, love.  _

_ mm-mmm-mmm. hallelujah. thank you, jesus. i just love the lord, im sorry, brother. i love the Lord. that's all I got. _

_ when your back gets against the wall and your wall against your back, who you call? hey! who you call? who you call? you gotta call him. you gotta call jesus. you gotta call him. you gotta call him 'cause you ain't got another hope. _

**_Resurrection_ **

  
  


It’s disgusting cliché why Jon takes them to the aquarium. It’s where their first date takes place. It’s the first place they take Jae when he’s allowed to come home. It’s the last place she takes her mother before she passes. 

It’s a place of memories, good and bad. 

Jae is always awestruck when they walk through the water tunnel. Arms reaching for the colored fish that swam above their heads. This time is no different, but being eight months now and able to crawl he never stayed in one place for too long. Daenerys had long since given him to Jon growing tired with the boy crawling over her as if she was a jungle gym. Jon was fine with Jae crawling all over his shoulders but Daenerys was not.

Jae reaches over to pull her hair “Momo.” Daenerys eyes her son, before turning her head to where he’s looking, a school of Clownfish swimming past. “It’s Nemo baby, and good job.” He’d been getting better with his color recognition.

Jon is obviously surprised, he hadn’t been there when they’d binged  _ Disney _ and  _ Pixar _ movies.  _ Finding Nemo _ having been Jae’s favorite. “His favorite movie is  _ Nemo _ , it’s probably why he recognized the fish.”

“When did that happen?”

“When we were staying with Missandei.”

“Oh.”

Daenerys knows Jon is upset but she also knows she can’t do anything about it. And rather than dwell on it she continues to walk through the tunnel, if they wanted to move forward they needed to leave the past where it belonged, in the past. They couldn’t do that if Jon was moping about because he didn’t get to watch  _ Nemo _ with his son. “I’m sure you two can watch  _ Wall-E  _ when we get home.”

“It won’t compare to his favorite talking fish but it’ll do.” It's enough to get Jon to chuckle and make the tense atmosphere evaporate like mist.

“When was the last time we even went out?” He winces when Jae slaps him in the eye. Daenerys shrugs “I don’t know before Jae? When we went to the fair.”

“I don’t think we can go back to the fair anytime soon.”

Daenerys outright laughs, she didn’t think so either. She wouldn’t be surprised if they were banned. Jae had been made at the fair, behind the ferris wheel where one of the employees had found them. It was embarrassing at first and the two had been teased by their friends for weeks after but now whenever it was brought up they couldn’t help but laugh. They had been stupid but it had been fun. They wouldn’t apologize for it.

“Jae was accidental fair sex.”

“We can’t ever tell him that,” Jon laughs “ever.”

***~***

Instead of going straight home they decide to go out for dinner on a whim, Daenerys wanting to eat at an Ihop when the sign was visible from down the street. Jae sat in a booster seat next to Daenerys, Jon across from her.

“Do you want to share a plate?”

“You’re going to eat off of my plate anyway.” Jon scoffed tossing the menu away. Daenerys kicks his ankle “I do not do that.” His face scrunches up as if asking  _ are you sure?  _ Daenerys laughs “Stop it, I don’t.”

“You do, you really do. You eat off of my plate and feed Jae off of yours. It’s a cycle, a vicious bloodsheding cycle.” Daenerys waves him off, feigning a huff of annoyance “Lies all lies.”

They’re interrupted when the waitress comes over and takes their orders. Daenerys and Jon deciding to share a plate  _ consensually _ and a plate of fries for Jae. Of course she has to chew up the fries for Jae but the babe is far too happy to eat the salty goodness, slapping the chair when Daenerys takes too long to feed him more of the mush.

“He’s going to be such a mama's boy.”

“He sure is.” she’s speaking in that voice she does when she’s playing with him, high-pitched and bubbly. She’s far to proud with the fact she might be Jae’s favorite.

“Just forget me then huh?”

“Awww,” Daenerys cooed, reaching over to pinch his cheek “are you jealous?” Jon pulls her hand away from his face to wrap his own around it. “Only that my son is getting more attention than me.”

“That’s not healthy.” She laughed. Jon was still horrible at flirting, he was lucky he was as handsome as he was. “Like something from a horror movie unhealthy.”

Jon laughs around her hand, having brought it up to his lips. Kissing each of her fingers before dropping his head down seeming to gather himself. Daenerys understood, it had been a long time since they’d just say around and enjoyed each other’s company. But it was ok, they would be ok, because they were moving forward. Now they could be open with each other.

“Have I told you I love you today? Because I do.”

Daenerys smiles “Several times actually and I love you too.”

_ you are terrifying and strange and beautiful. you are magic. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they’re getting back into the swing of things; couple stuff, family stuff.


	10. hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ that night the first girl emerges from a slit in my stomach “

_the nail technician pushed my cuticles back, turns my hand over, stretches the skin on my palm and says, "I see your daughters and their daughters."_

_that night in a dream, the first girl emerges from a slit in my stomach. the scar heals into a smile. the man I love pulls the stitches out with his fingernails. we leave black sutures curling on the side of the bath._

_iI wake as the second girl crawls headfirst up my throat, a flower blossoming out of the hole in my face._

**_Hope_ **

When she’s young, Daenerys watches as her mother is beat like a dog. As clumps of her pretty hair are torn out, as her skin is beat till it’s blue and purple. She’s in middle school when she starts doing her mother’s makeup. Darker concealer to hide the bruises. Extensions to hide the bald spots. Long showers in the bath to hide her tears.

She never understood then, but as she grew Daenerys figured why her mother never screamed, never complained. Her mother didn’t want her to get hurt. Her mother died knowing, _feeling glad,_ she’d took the brunt of a monster so her own head isn’t bashed in. So her own arm isn’t broken. 

Her mother’s death kills her father and the little semblance of fucked up hope that he’ll get better is blown away with his ashes. She stops feeling hope for awhile after that, she can’t understand why but she doesn’t. She doesn’t hope she’ll wake up tomorrow, she doesn’t hope she’ll be successful and happy. Daenerys can’t find it in herself to hope, she won’t let that be broken again, not again.

But the Gods take mercy and low and behold they shine their oh-so beloved light on Jon, the weird foster boy who vaped instead of smoked weed like every other depressed, mentally stalled teenager in their school.

He makes her hope again. He makes her smiles when all she wants to do is cry. He makes her laugh when she feels like she can’t even stand on her own two feet. He makes her want to _live_ when all she wants to do is jump head first off a cliff. 

So she holds onto it and low and behold they fall in love and marry so fast it’s almost childish. They lose their first babies but they keep trying and they get Jaeherys. But then he cheats and Daenerys wants to do nothing but kill him because for fucks sake, what the hells was wrong with him? 

He’d just fucked up everything they had for a blowjob and in all honesty Daenerys doesn’t even think it was that good. Doesn’t change the fact that she still wants to separate his head from his body medieval style but then she forgives him. It reminds Daenerys of her mother, of her words before she’s taken away from her.

“Forgiveness doesn’t have to be for the enemy or the Gods, it has to be for you. You hold that hurt in your heart, you let them win.”

So she says “fuck it, let’s start over” and they _try._ And hope just blossoms in her heart all over again and it feels good. Like seeing the sun after being in the dark for so long. It’s _amazing._ It’s freedom. 

**_*~*_ **

_“Happy birthday to you,”_ Her baby slapped the table, bouncing on her thigh, _“Happy birthday dear Jaehaerys, happy birthday to you.”_

He squealed, reaching for the cake in front of him, “Blow out the candles big man.” Jae eyes his father before blowing, spit covering the candle but going out nonetheless. 

The two parents clap in praise of their son before Daenerys moves to let Jon cut the baby blue cake. Jaehaerys had turned one today, at one twenty-eight to be precise, far too old for her liking. He was growing up too fast, yes she’d been in labor for seventy-two hours, but it had been worth it. 

Jon places a piece of cake in front of her, and Jae immediately reaches for it only stopping when Daenerys pulls it from his eager hands. Jon drops into the chair in front of her and Daenerys feeds her son his cake. Her eyes flickered up to her husband every few seconds, who’s far too happy to just watch her. 

“What?”

Jon shrugs, “Nothing.” Daenerys scrutinizes him for a few moments before turning her eyes back to Jae. Jon continues to stare, no matter her state of undress Daenerys still looked ethereal. Silver waves falling over her shoulders as she watched their son with a small smile. Jae stares back at his mother like a son would, like she held up the world and Jon doesn’t blame him. 

Daenerys could hold up the world if she wanted to.

Jae finishes his cake and Daenerys allows him to play with his toys. It’s getting late and Daenerys watches as her baby yawns, little jaw opening in a puff of air. “Lay him down and i’ll clean up down here?”

Jon nods, gathering up the dozing Jae and brought him to his room while she began to clean off the table. 

Their baby was one, _one._ Daenerys was in that weird state of happiness and sadness. Happiness because her baby was happy, sadness because he was growing. Soon he wouldn’t be a baby anymore and it sucked. She knew Jon was far to ready for Jae to grow so he could teach him how to catch a ball but she wasn’t. 

Easing the cake onto the counter, Daenerys turns to the creaking of the stairs. Jon appears in the kitchen doorway, baby free. “Crashed harder than a car after the sugar wore off.”

She hums at his horrible analogy before allowing him to wrap his arms around her. “He really does sleep like you.”

“Does he really?”

“Yes, snoring and slob everywhere.” Jon laughs when Daenerys mock punched him.

_i’m telling these tears go and fall away, fall away_

_may the last one burn into flames_

_freedom_

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the jonerys tag done lost ha mind


	11. redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ pull the sorrow from between my legs like silk, knot after knot after knot “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for my beloved baby bri who’s been with me not only through this story but through all the irl shit i go through. Thank you mamas.

_grandmother, the alchemist, you spun gold out of this hard life, conjured beauty from the things left behind. found healing where it did not live. discovered the antidote in your own kitchen. broke the curse with your own two hands. you passed these instructions down to your daughter who then passed it down to her daughter._

_my grandma said “nothing real can he threatened”. true love breathed salvation back into me. with every tear came redemption, and my torturer became my remedy._

_so we’re going to heal. we’re going to start again._

_you’ve brought the orchestra, synchronized swimmers. you’re the magician. pull me back together again like you cut me in half. make the woman in doubt disappear. pull the sorrow from between my legs like silk, knot after knot after knot._

_the audience applauds, but we can’t hear them._

**_Redemption_ **

It was the annual Snow-Seaworth family gathering and Daenerys wanted to do everything but go. Especially with she and Jon just finding their footing again, Daenerys didn’t think being under the scrutiny of Jon’s family would help. Nonetheless Daenerys still had squabbled about to get herself and Jaeherys ready. 

Jaeherys sits quietly in his chair as Daenerys rummages through the jewelry box. She can’t find her wedding ring, the one she’d cried over after finding it only days ago. 

“Jon?” She calls and surely enough, a few seconds later, he appeared in the doorway, buttoning up his shirt. “Yes love?”

“Have you seen my wedding ring?” She asks, “I thought I left it on the dresser?”

Jon had threw her a sad look, “No love, I’m sorry. We can look when we get home, we’re already late.”

Daenerys had huffed, she’d wanted to wear her ring but she supposed Jon, in this one instance, was right. 

The drive to the park was quick and Daenerys busies herself with reintroducing herself to all Jon’s family members. Uncle Ned, aunt Catelyn, estranged brothers Dale and Allard, etc, etc. 

Her surprise had come when she spotted Missandei and Greyworm among the crowd. They waved happily beckoning her over. “Jon invited us.” Greyworm had shrugged, “Said it was important.” Daenerys eyebrows had rose, important? This? The same gathering that ended every year with a fight? 

“I’m sure it is, maybe he’s announcing something?”

Daenerys had shrugged, still too upset about her ring to worry any longer. “Sure I guess, you both gonna be ok I go talk to Marya?” They had nodded, and Daenerys had left the two to go sit at the table with her mother-in-law. 

Having passed off Jae to Davos when they’d first arrived, Daenerys hadn’t been surprised to see the one year old with his grandmother. 

“Hi Mrs.Seaworth.” The old woman shook her head at her, “I’ve been your mother-in-law for five years now Daenerys, call me mom.”

Daenerys smiles sweetly before taking a seat next to the woman, “The boy got all the looks from you.” Marya continued, watching Jaeherys chew on a chicken bone. “Sadly, his father is quite handsome.” Daenerys said.

“Speaking of the fool, how are you?” Marya asks to which Daenerys shrugs, it felt like she was being put on the spot but the look on her mother-in-law face said otherwise. She looked concerned. 

“I’m- I’m struggling.” Daenerys confesses, “Not with Jon or anything, it’s just been hard readjusting after everything.” 

Marya nods in understanding, “And that’s ok. I’ve seen some things in my years not all good. Davos and I have been together for more than fifteen years but I know if given an eternity you and Jon could last longer. Love is an incredible feeling and the one that you and Jon share is one that could make or break wars. It’s pure don’t let it be chipped away.” 

Daenerys sniffled, she hadn’t wanted to cry, not in front of all of those people. Marya had slid over to grip her hand, “It’s ok to cry, I know I did, but you’re trying again. Let this new chapter be the beginning of a brand new story.”

_“_ Besides my son is stupid but he isn’t that stupid.” Marya waved her hand dismissively to which Daenerys laughed.

Suddenly Jon appeared, as if summoned. “Speak of a demon and it shall appear.” Marya had mummered before turning towards her son. 

“Is there a reason you’re interrupting our conversation?” Marya smarted to which Jon scratched the back of his neck. “I just wanted to talk to my wife for a second if you don’t mind.”

Marya rolls her eyes but gets up nonetheless, Jaeherys still in her arms. Jon takes the once occupied seat, opening his palms so Daenerys could place her hands in his. 

_“_ You ok? I know you didn’t want to leave without your ring.” He asked quietly, Daenerys shrugged, “We can look when we get home, I’m sure it’s around the house somewhere.” She’d replied optimistically. Jon’s eyebrows had pinched together and Daenerys had felt the first tugs of a frown pulling at her lips, “Is something wrong?” Jon shook his head, “Actually…” his eyes flickered to something behind her. 

Swiveling her head around, Daenerys was confused to see Missandei and Greyworm standing there with several other members of Jon’s family. “What in the world- Jon what are they-“ Daenerys turned back towards her husband only to immediately drop her head into her hands.

It’s Jon, and her ring in a pretty velvet box, on one knee in front of her. The fool, the idiotic, charming fool. It’s like she’s a teenager again, being surprised with flowers and cherry shaped earrings or her favorite lipgloss and trips to the beach. 

Daenerys gives a weak sob, or laugh she can’t really tell the difference, into her hand. “I love you so much and through all the shit, the crazy unnecessary shit, you still helped me grow and be a better person. I was the happiest man on earth the day you became my wife, and I know this is going to sound cheesy as fuck, but will you make me the happiest man in history and marry me...again?” 

She sobs, she sobs so hard her heart sputters and the air leaves her lungs but she nods. Jon takes her shaking hand, all of her is shaking at this point, and slides her ring back on her finger. It’s strange, who knew three months ago she’d be getting married to the love of her life? 

•••

It’s just a vow renewal. Nothing major but it feels like she’s getting married all over again. Missandei doing her makeup and Marya straightening the waves she called hair. There’s a photographer in the corner of the room, snapping pictures of everything that happens. 

Marya places a silver clip in her head pronouncing her done just as Missandei finishes her lined lips. The photographer snaps one more picture of the three of them before Daenerys turns toward the vanity mirror. 

She’d worn her mother’s gown her first time walking down the aisle. Surprising sleek for its time period, silk white fabric and silver embroidered dragons had been wrapped around her that day. Her mother’s short veil covering her face. 

Now the white gown trails and is so long Marya had to help carry the train in. Lined lips sparkles and lashes flutter with every blink she makes. Her eyelids are winged and glossy, her ears having big dangling crystals in each. 

Missandei helps her down the elevated podium, her own red dress sleek and simple, held up by thin red straps on each shoulder. 

“Daenerys, you look absolutely beautiful,” Marya places a hand over her heart. Missandei nods in agreement before clapping her hands, “We have five minutes before the wedding match starts playing. So I suggest we take some photos with Davos before that happens.” 

Nodding, Daenerys hikes her dress up, Missandei and Marya trailing behind her. Davos looks as spiffy as ever, the all black tuxedo fitting him well.

“And who is that fine man over there?” Marya mock fans herself, Missandei rolls her eyes, disappearing into the chapel after giving Daenerys a kiss on the cheek. Davos’s face turns red, “Please Mar, not here.” Marya gives a laugh before kissing his cheek, “You look dashing my love, you shouldn’t outshine the bride.”

“And I’m glad I didn’t,” Davos turns to her, “you look absolutely beautiful Daenerys.” She smiles, “Thank you.” 

The photographer appears next to them, “We have a few minutes, the groom is having a malfunction.” Daenerys immediately seizes up, malfunction? No, she and Missandei had planned the day to a ‘T’ what could have possibly gone wrong? 

Marya shakes her head when she sees her face, passing her the bouquet she says, “Don’t you worry, not now, take those pictures, look pretty and walk down that aisle. If Jon has to stand at the altar in his underwear he will I promise.” Patting her hand, she leaves for the chapel. 

Daenerys looks to Davos who gives her a reassuring look, “If anybody can fix this it’s Marya, don’t worry.” Sucking in a breath, Daenerys shuffles closer to her father-in-law to take pictures. 

Soon the wedding march begins and the photographer wishes her the best before disappearing into the chapel as well. Davos grips her shoulders, “Here we go again.”

Daenerys laughs, “Here we go again.” Settling her arm into his, they turn towards the opening doors. 

Whatever noise there is quiets, and Daenerys smiles happily as she is escorted down the aisle. Several members of Jon’s family are there compared to Missandei and Greyworm who stand in the front row. Marya stands next to them, Jaeherys in her arms. Daenerys finally turns her eyes to Jon.

He’s crying, just like he had the first time. It causes tears to sting her own eyes. Davos squeezes her hand when he notices them, she can’t be crying yet, not yet. The distance between her and Jon is growing smaller and Daenerys paces herself to stop from running to him. 

Davos let’s her hand go when they’re finally in front of the altar, where she passes her bouquet off to Missandei. Daenerys slips her own hand into Jon’s, keeping her eyes on him until she finally faces him completely. He kisses her hand softly before they both turn to the pastor, who waits with a soft smile on his wrinkled face. He nods at the both of them before placing his hand on top of theirs. “We’ve gathered here today to celebrate the reunion of Mr. and Mrs.Snow.”  


•••  


_He’s always sitting alone out there, no matter the weather. Pushing through the giant blue doors that lead to the empty courtyard, the noise rings out into the air. It’s enough to draw his eyes to her own. Pretty brown eyes clashing with her own amethyst. They remind her of expensive chocolate, the ones wrapped in gold foil._

_Her lips pull into a smile before she can stop them, “Hi, I’m Daenerys.”_

_we together, i remember, sweet love all night long._

_oh how i missed you, my love_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and with that, lemonade comes to an end. 
> 
> ~Thank You

**Author's Note:**

> don’t hate jon too much. or do. whatever floats your beloved boat. thank you for reading and comments and kudos.


End file.
